The Things of My Soul
Adopt Integrity to Adopt Precious Children

by Dale J. Neilson

© Latter-day Times Newspapers

This sad story of lies and selfishness was told to me by a credible friend. Names and other personal information have been withheld for privacy reasons.

Many years ago, a married couple forged their oldest daughter’s birth certificate. The husband is not her birth father, but his wife is the birth mother. The daughter, almost 40, was born illegitimately and her parents lied to conceal the child’s true birthday.

To this day, the daughter is not only unaware her mother’s husband is not her birth father, but that her legal birth date is a fake.

Rather than adopt his daughter legally, this afore-mentioned wicked man and his dubious wife skirted the law to apparently hide her previous infidelity.

Many birth parents who seek to avoid struggling with the challenges of out-of-wedlock babies give up their children for a better life in adoption. Like so many other adoptive parents, my wife and I are grateful for both sets of our children’s loving birth parents, primarily their birth mothers.

Our children don’t disrespect their birth parents in any way, but revere their timeless sacrifice.

Giving any child the opportunity to grow and experience life in a nurturing atmosphere usually teaches respect for self, others and Heavenly Father. Deceit has no place there.

My friend’s lying brother is the actual stepfather. I don’t know who the illegitimate birth was supposedly hidden from, but the man’s ‘daughter’, could be victimized in this vicious masquerade. If she ever needs critical medical information from her birth father, how will she obtain it? Without more information, she probably wouldn’t ask her parents.

Would her parents continue perpetrating this repugnant lie and cover their obnoxious egos and over-sized rear ends at the expense of her life?

Regardless, this secret combination could still unravel quickly and leave both of her parents lying—literally—in its wake.

Wouldn’t her finding out now after almost 40 years rather than later be better? Absolutely! Better late than never, but even better never late! This couple’s festering hideous lie became huge Mt. Everest because they wouldn’t dig down early the growing molehill.

The daughter will eventually learn the truth about her dishonest parents. It may negatively change her and her own family’s feelings for them—forever. That’s nothing to say of what her apparently-unknowing siblings, their families and others close to the parents may feel.

Unanswered medical questions and psychological damage suffered by the daughter may place her parents in serious legal trouble.

My friend told me his niece, oldest child in the family, “feels different” among her siblings. “She doesn’t look like them, she doesn’t think like them,” he said. Maybe it’s because of how she was treated, subtly or not, by her parents.

Her mother should have avoided promiscuity, or at least admitted her pregnancy and moved on. Because she didn’t, many could be hurt by progressively horrific choices.


BYU Football is My Second Wife
She’s feeling better, but all isn’t well

by Dale J. Neilson

© Latter-day Times Newspapers

Since BYU’s horrendous home-opening Sept. 19 loss in Provo to the Florida State Seminoles, the Cougars have improved. How much is unknown, because successive wins over the Colorado State Rams, Utah State Aggies, UNLV Runnin’ Rebels and San Diego State Aztecs were predictable.

It’s like you teaching youth Sunday School class. The kids answered questions, but that’s it. No elaboration. For all you knew, they were mind-numbed robots on cruise control.

Except for the Runnin’ Rebels, the Cougars struggled somewhat against their post-‘Noles opponents. Sometimes it was very difficult, like when SDSU QB Ryan Hindley repeatedly lit up BYU’s secondary for touchdown passes. If Hindley is average at best, as some reporters insist, what does that say for the Cougar defenders? Sometimes they seem inept.

Grant Stucker, the Rams’ field general, seemed to have all day while searching for an open receiver. The Cougs’ early pass interception against the Aggies resulted in a USU touchdown and cost the Y critical early momentum.

The only pain UNLV inflicted upon BYU was a 75-yard TD pass play, but the game was a rout by then.

Tomorrow’s opponent, the Texas Christian Horned Frogs, could make FSU’s rout of the Cougs seem like a ‘boring’ church meeting. The 6-0 ‘Frogs routed BYU 32-7 last year in Fort Worth, Tex. and are very capable again of such firepower.

TCU also beat BYU 51-50 in that memorable, controversial 2005 overtime Provo game. You may remember TV replays of the ‘Frogs running back fumbling before the touchdown was inconclusive.

Speed is mainly what TCU has over the Cougars and lots of it. BYU has repeatedly shown, though, when it doesn’t commit turnovers it can be very good. When the Y is sloppy, especially against a fast, athletic team, great pain and sorrow for its fans usually result.

TCU’s world-class defense is partnered with seasoned and mobile QB in Andy Dalton. Its well-documented BYU has major problems when defending players with strength, speed and mobility. FSU’s Christian Ponder had a career game against the Cougs in passing, running and plowing through their defense.

To win, BYU must avoid turnovers, create momentum with time-consuming drives, contain Dalton in the pocket and tightly defend TCU’s receivers. If the Cougars offensively control the clock in scoring touchdowns, the ‘Frogs BCS hopes could vaporize in Provo’s cool air.

Winning this game might be as easy as paying attention in church meetings. But you must always be alert and opportunistic to snag success.

The Things of My Soul

by Dale J. Neilson

© Latter-day Times Newspapers


Welcome to Round 2 of Our Blog

Because you’re here for another installment of The Things of My Soul, we must be doing something right. Right?

Except that I missed this column in September. So I’ll write two in October.

Last time, I wrote that the Oquirrh Mountain Temple dedication had a deep affect upon me. As this column already documented, I felt an abundance of the Holy Ghost at both the Draper and Oquirrh Mountain temples before dedicatory services.
The Spirit at each was beyond words. It was tremendous.

Opportunities to visit Houses of the Lord should be revered and filled passionately. The late, great, President Gordon B. Hinckley said the highest form of service is doing that for others what they can’t do for themselves. Where better than in the temples of the Lord?

Performing proxy ordinances benefits more than the dead. It stirs up the Spirit of the Lord in those serving in the temple. We receive revelations on completing our responsibilities in our families, church callings, professions and dealing with people and our lives in general. We learn how to demonstrate charity and be a good example to others.

We learn what our loving Heavenly Father would have us do in literally standing as His witnesses at all times and in all things and places even until death. We do these things because we seek redemption from Him to gain place in the First Resurrection and eternal life. (Mosiah 18:9) “This is the desire of our hearts.” (Mosiah 18:11)

There is no better way to learn of Him than participation in general conference, which is today and tomorrow, Oct. 3-4, in the church conference center. The speakers’ messages of hope are spiritually riveting and always strengthen those seeking truth.

As always, those who don’t attend can always tune into TV, radio and Internet broadcasts.

I usually take notes while tuning in via TV with my family. Note-taking provides me with immediate information in my own words, which helps with future Family Home Evening lessons, home teaching and other general conference discussions. Sometimes, I receive personal revelation in the midst of taking notes, which is also documented.

Taking notes also forces me to pay complete attention to these inspired talks.

Of course there is always the Ensign church magazine, which has the complete text of each address. Sometimes though, it doesn’t arrive in the mail for a few weeks. I use my notes in the meantime and it becomes the conference supplement when the Ensign arrives.

Listening to the prophets testify of truth “is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth” (Romans 1:16).

I testify that obeying the Lord’s commandments means we listen to our inspired leaders and follow His counsel. This is the way He’s always directed and will direct His people.

Attending the holy temple whenever possible, following our inspired leaders’ counsel and obeying all our Heavenly Father’s commandments is what He would always have us do.